Heartstrings Violins-Lessons/Weddings

Private Violin Lessons/Weddings, Jackson West Bend WI


Orchestra Dork Jokes...

Posted by Lisa Kitzke on March 26, 2010 at 11:54 AM

Well, these just cracked me up! I am guilty of some of these...certainly not all! I hope you enjoy them!!!



You Know You Are An Orch Dork When...

~You buy light colored shirts to avoid rosin stains

~You get together with your friends and in the midst of deciding what to do, you find yourselves playing chamber music

~You don't go out on weekends because "you have an audition" the next day...or even orch dorkier, a rehearsal

~You buy things like cookie cutters and pasta in the shape of musical notes and instruments

~You've put Tchaikovsky' s birthday on your calendar

~You know every viola joke by heart

~When you think about it, you really don’t think the viola jokes are that funny because you know that they are all so TRUE

~You have separate buddy lists...one for orch dorks and one for "regular people"

~You know the words to the choral version of The 1812 Overture

~You know that there is a choral version of The 1812 Overture

~You go to parties and people direct you right to the "orch dork corner"

~You've decorated the inside of your case...with things that pertain to music

~You know what an Austrian 6th chord is

~You don't mind getting up at 7 on Saturdays

~You carry around a pocket music dictionary.. .and read it just for fun

~You've named your instrument

~The highlight of your New Year's is the Mostly Mozart concert

~You follow along in the score when you listen to classical music

~You own scores

~You find some way to incorporate music into all of your school research papers

~During your homework breaks you practice Shostakovich string quartets for fun

~You correct your friends when they call pieces "songs"

~You can draw various instruments on your etch-a-sketch

~You carry around a nail clipper

~You play along with Mahler symphonies on the kazoo

~You know how to pronounce Dohnanyi

~You have friends with screen names like Carlpebach and CadenzaV2

~You sing Beethoven/Tchaikovs ky symphonies in parts for fun

~You have random spasms which cause you to play Copland’s Rodeo

~You take up badminton to try and get your mind off your depression caused by orchestra ending for the year

~You see seating auditions as a social gathering

~You avoid gym volleyball to avoid hurting your fingers

~You can play the first and second violin parts of Tchaik 4 on cue

~You ask for reeds/bows/rosin/ mutes for Christmas... and then cry when you don't get them

~You have a conniption when people clap between movements

~You get together with your friends and in the midst of deciding what to do, you find yourselves playing chamber music

~You know what a hemidemisemiquaver is

~You read program notes

~Someone asks you what car you drive, and you respond: "Kreisler"

~You start off conversations with things like, “The funniest thing happened last night during my 11 measures rest in the second movement of the Tchaikovsky. ..”

~When you come to a rut in the conversation, you show off your perfect pitch skills by singing A 440 to break the tension

~You protect your hands at all costs...except in the case of Egyptian ratscrew

~The Shar catalog in the mail brightens your day

~You have Shar on speed dial

~You have a fit in choir when people don't cut off at the right time

~Your graduation (birthday, etc) party guest list contains more orch dorks than people from your school

~Whenever you're in school you think about how an orch dork school would be so much cooler

~You know Mozart's full name

~You get a copy of BMG's Encore Magazine twice a month

~You go nuts when you hear the school bell go off because you try to figure out what pitch it is

~You dance along with your “Dr. Beat”

~The A440 has gone off on your pocket metronome in the middle of English class

~You have inadvertently referred to Saturday as “audition day”

~You sing along with the microwave.

~You have a compulsion to complete other people's cell phone rings, and to do so out loud.

~When the politicians mention DeLay on the news, you think "Dorothy" and wonder when she got into politics.

~You find yourself counting rests when you're driving and listening to music.

~You refuse to take a class required for your major because it meets during your orchestra rehearsal

~You can't keep a constant speed while driving because you're tapping your foot

~You're walking down a sidewalk, you try to take "triplet" steps within the "duplet" cement squares, just to practice rhythm

~You're on a dinner date, you'll interrupt conversation by pointing at the ceiling, cocking your head and saying, "This is Dvorak, we played this my junior year..."

~... likewise for movie soundtracks

~You've said, "Flight of the Bumblebee is so cliche for movie soundtracks"

~You finally blast out the guys playing Hip-hop too loud down the hall with 1812 Overture on a sound system that they could only dream of having.

~You have a Strad poster in your dorm room (Brothers Amati viola, c. 1620...)

~You have soundpost setters in your dorm room

~Your instrument cases take priority over books on your dorm room shelves

~When cleaning, you find violin strings in odd places and wonder how they got there...

~When you have a violin calandar...

~When your license plate says "vln vla"

~You have christmas music stuck in your head before thanksgiving cause you're already rehearsing it

~You not only name your violin, but its named after a composer

~People think you're a goth because you have so much black clothing

~Violining is a regualr word in your vocabulary

~You tell heifetz jokes

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